**PRESS RELEASE**

For Immediate Release: “99 Luftballons” Truncated to “45 Luftballons” in Light of Austerity Measures

Secretary of State Antony Blinken warned, “Sanctions against those violating the 50 Luftballon limit will be swift and brutal.”

This move has sparked a mixed reaction among the public. Balloon enthusiasts and civil rights activists have already begun organizing events and protests in response.