@JenMsft

this explains much

@JenMsft 🌏👨‍🚀"Pipes is a loading bar!?" 🔫👨‍🚀 "Always was."

@JenMsft
We just needed the 3rd dimension to understand it.

@JenMsft this tracks

@JenMsft Ah, You mean, we need to use VR goggles 🥽 to be fully immersed in process completion? 🙃

@JenMsft tbh

@JenMsft Is this Windows only or universal? 😂

@JenMsft at my job I made our loading bar. It's very pretty, it's got an animated css gradient and everything. It takes 15 seconds to reach 95%, then sits there until it's done. Loading is a sham lol, we have no fuckin idea how long it's gonna take 🦞🥨🪑

@JenMsft Why do I feel like that's so true?

@JenMsft I'm quite tempted to 3D print something like this.

@JenMsft

that's exactly how Microsoft works

@JenMsft Orthographic projection explains a loooot of things.

@JenMsft
"People assume time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of... wibbly wobbly... timey wimey... stuff."

Source: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=q2nNzNo_Xps
@mullana

@JenMsft Here's the gif for that one.... 😉😁

@JenMsft Yep.

@JenMsft I finally understand it now, thank you :neofox_cry:

What about the 10 minutes I need to wait, after I rebooted and Windows shows "Updates 100%" ?

@JenMsft aí @pdvni , finalmente a ilustração que explica tudo

@JenMsft clever!

@JenMsft
... and sometimes the tron light bike at the tip of your loading bar makes too many turns in the same direction and runs into its own wall and explodes.

@JenMsft Have you ever tried to code a progress meter? - I have, and it's not easy.

@JenMsft @prealpinux 🤣🤣🤣 solo se hai Windows 😉

@JenMsft

When we program progress bars, we always just have a log function from 0 to 100, with f(0) = 0 and f(∞) = 100.

@JenMsft It's just Super Paper Mario.

@JenMsft
So let me guess if the green color is on the right end, it's finished. Damned good explanation 😜

@JenMsft
We should have a more detailed look in isometric at many things.

Would probably explain a lot.

@JenMsft
Reporting progress is one of those deceptively hard problems :\

@JenMsft imaginary time

@JenMsft not quite accurate? it doesn't explain why they sometimes go ←backwards←
!

@JenMsft now thinking about how to make a self aware status bar that switched to 3D view when a step takes longer than expected… 🤔

@JenMsft No wonder why loading bars looked slow to me :blobfox0_0:

@JenMsft Ohhh, that explains sooo much!

@JenMsft I watched a great video about how and why progress bars work the way they do, at least in some instances.

https://youtu.be/DwpabjCM2ME?t=31

@JenMsft Ergibt endlich Sinn 😂

@JenMsft Loading bars were actually the original inspiration for perspective-warping games like Antichamber and Superliminal! /s

@JenMsft surely the simple explanation is "we thought it would be simpler, we're sorry"

@JenMsft I think the bar on the bottom explains COBOL.

@JenMsft

Having implemented and maintained a number of "progress bars" /under intense management supervision/, I can attest that a number of them do, in fact, behave *exactly* as shown in the diagram! By design! 😆

😢

@JenMsft Ah! Now I understand that. Thanks.

@JenMsft

25-30 years ago, a proper loading bar in a DOS app was right up there with the right mouse button (PC-only) and its popup context menu. 🥹

@JenMsft
installing software on linux vs windows. xD

@JenMsft no lies detected.

@JenMsft it all makes so much more sense now

@JenMsft Ah! Now I understand.

@JenMsft or the loading graph that takes longer to work out the estimate of total time than actually download the data

@JenMsft That makes more sense than anything else I've heard suggested :D

@JenMsft @Miro_Collas They missed the super long delay at 99%!

@JenMsft typically applies to the Windows Lie-meter. 😆

@JenMsft It is exactly like that

@JenMsft LGTM

@JenMsft it makes sense now

@JenMsft something something Superliminal

@JenMsft wait, does that mean it’s a pulse?

@JenMsft amazing

@JenMsft
Hmm, so not much different than gas consumption from most gas vehicles.

Full to 3/4 = 4 days commute driving

3/4 to E = Friday-Sunday

(My experience anyway.)

@JenMsft @topher https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4GIasTCL_k

@JenMsft I would like more loading bars that are constant in speed and not in direction...

@JenMsft So it moves smoothly. You just don't see most of it, and the bit you don't see is when it doesn't make progress. Yes that's accurate.

@JenMsft
Todo: make this in Resonite.