@tomw Certainly, Sir. That's not going to be a community success. However, for the nerd you seem to be, the scientific comparison of apples and oranges is a proven way of entering into this complex subject:
http://web.archive.org/web/20021021104329/https://improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume1/v1i3/air-1-3-apples.html