@ebel
10 out of 10
excellent service
now I'm in complete despair

@ebel

for faster service, try gazing and screaming into our website at https://abyss.social...

@ebel Oh, you heard me then?

@ebel

@ebel "We are experiencing higher than average scream volume"

@ebel The abyss has no more in-person appointments left today. Please call back tomorrow.

@ebel Strange, I guess I *was* heard…

@ebel Thank you so much. I really need this today, at precisely this time.

@ebel 🤣🤣🤣

@ebel

"As a people-facing Abyss, please be assured that if you stare into Us, We will look back at you."

@ebel @scream

@ebel this right here is why I love Mastodon

@ebel

"There are currently 239,420 screams ahead of you in our queue

Your scream will be broadcast in the order received"

@ebel For the benefit of @scream, I presume?

@ebel @cstross indeed.

@ebel Your scream may be recorded for quality purposes.

@ebel Here, have a listen to the Sales Call Abyss (it gets REALLY good about 2 minutes in) …

https://soundcloud.com/user-237714155/sales-call-abyss

@ebel To stare into - dial 1. To be stared back at - dial 2. To contact operator - press and hold infinity sign for all eternity.

@ebel please stay on the line for a short survey. your existential horror is important us

@ebel @Extra_Special_Carbon

@ebel This scream may be recorded for quality and training purposes.

@ebel see also https://social.chinwag.org/@gws/110474641783385295