@MnemosyneSinger you're right I misunderstood I guess. But I do disagree with believing in absurdism enjoying the idea of being sisyphus. That or I like the idea of life having no meaning, and the ideals don't align with absurdism. Life is absurd. People chase for meaning in such varying subjective ways to no end. I see everyone else a happily being sisyphus, and I am too but I'm happier when I don't push the rock. Maybe I'll just sit on it instead.