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Brian Bilston

Today’s poem is called ‘Love Excels’.

[image description: a poem embedded in an Excel spreadsheet with the words contained within individual cells. Line 3 has words in a single merged cell. Line 4 has text wrapping applied. Line 8 has filters applied to each word]

Love Excels

Let’s spread ourselves on sheets of love
and turn our data into poetry.
Our cells shall merge themselves together
As you wrap your text around me.

Our sum is greater than our parts,
let’s crunch our figures without compunction.
Remove this filter from my heart –
you give me form and function.

We shall frolic among the formulae,
pivot our tables now and often.
I will total all your rows
and you can add my column.

Brian Bilston
51 comments
Snop

@brianbilston Brilliant, you’ve made me see spreadsheets in a whole new light. Excel(lent) 😊

Martin Campbell

@brianbilston Sadly, this sentiment in this poem has not reached the G20.

Patricia Howell

@brianbilston excellent! I sent it to someone who needs a distraction and a smile 🙂

Petrichor

@brianbilston Love it. Is it actually on Excel, and what are the filters?

Brian Bilston

@sinabhfuil it was written in Excel - although I must confess that the filters are just for show.

Rick

@brianbilston haha - I love this to start with, and even more because I’m an excel user!

Nerdy Mom

@brianbilston The only Excel Sheet I would love to work with.

Plumocelot

@brianbilston That's pretty special. I think you've found an untapped niche in office Valentine's cards there.

Sue Park

@brianbilston this is exceptional (excel-lent). Having spent my working life with spreadsheets and am now retired, I realise how much I miss them 😂. Thank you for reminding me. 👍🏻👏🏻

Juliefaithmcmurrayart

@brianbilston I think this poem is pure genius, I love it. Thank you for sharing.

Stuart

@brianbilston wonderful. This made me snort-laugh on the tube, earning a few withering looks

Gill_the_MT

@brianbilston love this! Mr _the_MT has excel eyes and is the spreadsheet king 😁

Seeking asylum somewhere safe

@brianbilston
Will never look at a spreadsheet the same way again 😊

Shrikant Joshi

@brianbilston You, sir, manage to outdo yourself every single day!

I have no idea where you draw all this creativity from but I will certainly appreciate a map to the place with a huge 'X' marking the spot...

Neal Champion

Can only imagine the impact this poem made on @excelpope

Rose

@brianbilston This is the best poetry I've ever seen.<3

Donna

@brianbilston I really love to hate them, but this is the only one I love.

DrLeonJ

@brianbilston This is just wonderful! Clever and lovely, both!

patpatterson57

@brianbilston

some cells are windows from outside
stacked in rows and stories
city block
building as spread sheet of data

bmorepoetryblog.org/bioindicat

(in 2001 the maryland court of appeals upheld a decision that kennedy krieger institute violated the human rights of families and children by unnecessarily exposing them to lead in order to study misguided partial abatement methods–no level of lead in their bodies is safe for children)

Lacewindu (she/her)

@brianbilston I have just met you and now I am in love you. This is genius for wooing informatics folk.

Kincavel

@brianbilston brilliant..I'm just doing cross tabulation so that is very pertinent haha

NathanielEdward

@brianbilston all I want in life is to be this level of creative

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