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Blau :floofNom:

what exactly does google think i'm going to be doing this weekend

Screenshot from a Google Opinion Rewards survey. It reads:

Question 2 of 5: Is your search for 'oil rig explosion’ related to plans you're making for the weekend?

Answer options:

1. No, it is not related to weekend plans

2. It is for both weekend and weekday

3. Yes, both for this and the future weekends

4. Yes, it is for future weekends

5. Yes, it is purely for this weekend
125 comments
Lobo

@blaurascon hopefully some oil rig explosion amirite

nytpu ‮

@blaurascon Where's the “for both this weekend and weekdays, and for future weekends and weekdays”??

Claire

@blaurascon "Is your search for "oil rig explosion" related to plans you're making for the weekend?"

photo of a guy in an FBI jacket typing at a keyboard
Sin Vega

@blaurascon no, it is unrelated to my existing oil rig explosion schedule

dzamie :vOwOfied:

@blaurascon This reminds me of those polls where people freak out about how 72% of teenagers have never heard of George W Bush or whatever, when basically everyone I know, when presented with the poll question "have you ever heard of George W Bush," would lie because it's funny.

Steggy

@blaurascon maybe it’s the wine talking but I literally laughed for three minutes over this. I guess I’m easily amused

Zoe

@blaurascon this sounds like one of does please check if you're a terrorist question.

Blau :floofNom:

i haven't had a post go off like this in a long time, oh jeez

honestly i only really do the opinion rewards for the play credit. i goof off on (most of) the responses

i also use trackmenot which sends randomized search queries on a timer to fuck with google's profiling. i'm pretty sure this is where this query came from. i haven't used google search for anything in close to a year, but it's really hard to completely disentangle myself from them, so i figure i'll fuck with them instead

i have had some weird rewards surveys but this one absolutely took the whole cake. i'm glad y'all got as much of a laugh out of it as i did

i haven't had a post go off like this in a long time, oh jeez

honestly i only really do the opinion rewards for the play credit. i goof off on (most of) the responses

i also use trackmenot which sends randomized search queries on a timer to fuck with google's profiling. i'm pretty sure this is where this query came from. i haven't used google search for anything in close to a year, but it's really hard to completely disentangle myself from them, so i figure i'll fuck with them instead

Joe Cooper 💾

@blaurascon Google better mind their business. Snitches get stitches.

Ludovic Archivist Lagouardette

@tshirtman @blaurascon

Mmmmmh, now I want to order that book, then go stand next to a pipeline every week until the cops show up

Katrien M Michiels

@Archivist @tshirtman @blaurascon I once ordered #PiHKAL an #TiHKAL as a bundle. For at least a year after that purchase all my packages came opened. #HazmatInformation

Gabriel Pettier

@kmmich @Archivist @blaurascon i try not to believe wild claims by strangers on the internet, but this one, yeah, it's not hard to believe. 😬

Katrien M Michiels

@tshirtman @Archivist @blaurascon yeah... it took me a while to realise what was going on. The first package you think 'oh, maybe it got damaged...?', the next one 'wait. clean cut, nicely taped closed again.' ...
One of my next purchases was a little book with a subtitle "Managment of common poisons." After that, the kilo of spices straight from India took 4 months to get cleared by customs. I still pity the sniffer dog that dug his nose into that masala bomb :)

Gabriel Pettier

@kmmich @Archivist @blaurascon 😆 did that kilo of spice stop the series? if not, what did it take? 😆

Katrien M Michiels

@tshirtman @Archivist @blaurascon it didn't. They seem to have lost interest, although Indian spices still take suspiciously long to arrive. Weirdly, Ukranian seeds are no problem, it seems. Also, I just try toavoid online shopping. Except for really embarrassing stuff like underwear (makes mental note to find some sex toys online).
Suspicious literature is now acquired in suitably darker ways :)

Stuart Longland (VK4MSL)

@blaurascon Clearly they think this weekend is going to go off with a bang…

Jeremy Nickurak

@blaurascon Next survey page: Is it a work or pleasure oil-rig-explosion?

Shar(yna)Tran/Shark(aeopteryx)

@blaurascon whoa i can't believe the feds are outsourcing their interrogations to google opinion rewards now (joke)

Be_Outside

@blaurascon
Where's the sixth option, where you check it to tell google to FUCK RIGHT OFF...?

I Forget

@blaurascon i am confuse where is the "not in the market for a new car" option.

Ulrich_the_Elder, 🇨🇦,🇺🇦

@blaurascon The first day that google appeared on the internet, I believe it may have been about 1996, I read their mission statement.. One line stood out it said, "DO NO EVIL". This made me realize that they intended on being evil... I decided to not engage with them if possible... Well it has become impossible to ignore them completely but I have never used their search engine and they have never seen my real name....

Janne

@Ulrich_the_elder @blaurascon they have scraped the contact books and e-mail contents of almost everyone you know.

They track smartphones of relatives and site navigation from every PC everywhere through their global advertising monopoly.

I bet they buy offline shopping data and insurance data and credit card and banking records.

It's not possible to avoid them knowing.

Ulrich_the_Elder, 🇨🇦,🇺🇦

@janvenetor @blaurascon I am not going to tell you all the things I do nor the lengths that I am willing to go to in order to safeguard myself online but I will tell you I have never even once seen what has appeared t be a targeted ad... The advertisers do not seem to even know what gender I might be.

Clifton Royston

@blaurascon

Nice that Google's giving out hints on activities.

rica

@blaurascon Okay so have you heard of metal gear solid v: the phantom pain? /silly

Boba Yaga

@blaurascon Well, it wasn't but now that you mention it…

Elenna :verified_transgender:​

@blaurascon convincing the Google algorithm that oil rig explosions are part of fun weekend activities

Tim Nicholas

@blaurascon the only right answer is any wrong answer.

Andrew Zonenberg

@blaurascon Reminds me that me and my wife never got around to having a honeymoon (coming up on ten years soon...)

I was joking about visiting a bunch of scenic Superfund sites.

Glyph

@blaurascon "praxis"

(edit: oops, I see this joke has been made *many* times now that the replies are actually loading for me)

xinit ☕

@blaurascon "Maaaaaaaybe... know anyone that has a van?"

Leonard Ritter

@blaurascon "probably more an oil rig squirt this WE, it's messy and takes hours to get to that level and i can't always make the time."
— "what?"
"what?"
— "what?"
"what?"
— "nevermind"

Frau mit Fahrrad

@blaurascon Ok, ok, but what happens next? What about questions 3, 4 and 5? 👀 :4010:

fedithom

@blaurascon

Why is anyone still using Google? And why are people still surprised at the level of shit it contains?

Jan-Hendrik Fox

@blaurascon i would say it's important for future Weekends, like all of them. 🤔

David JONES

@blaurascon it would be a weekend with honour. Just sayin

HollieK

@blaurascon
Question 3: Who is going with you?

Question 4: What time are you setting off?

Question 5: Which oil rig are you going to first?

ehurtley

@blaurascon Google thinks you’re trying to solve climate change - one oil rig at a time!

syn

@blaurascon@critter.cafe wtyp live episode (with slides) where they cause an engineering disaster

CIMB4

@blaurascon well no, but actualpy, now that ou mention it... :blobcat:

Dianora (Diane Bruce)

@blaurascon Maybe google wants to start showing you ads for fertilizer.

Matias

@blaurascon@critter.cafe Someone at NSA is really stressed right now :'D

Rolf Steinort

@blaurascon Ecoterrorism may be a trend. If I were 50 years younger I would be tempted.

Greg

@blaurascon has your random query generator gone and got you profiled as a frazzled parent of five year old kids with a birthday activity needed?

Tidings of Comfort & Jo

@blaurascon also no one should answer these sorts of questions. It’s not rewards for anyone but Google.

Adriano

@blaurascon "Are you googling "oil rig explosion" for business, or pleasure?"

René Seindal

@blaurascon
You're gifting Google all sorts of information to target more ads at you.

They probably already know too much.

__Miguel_

@blaurascon I don't know, but I'm sure it will be... a blast. 😇

I'll let myself out 😛

Luna Neko

@blaurascon Presumably, the Big Shell section of Metal Gear Solid 2

Chewie

@blaurascon hi there! It looks like you might be engaging in some property damage, can I interest you in the following?

versobooks.com/en-gb/products/

m.imdb.com/title/tt21440780/

Enjoy :)

Clippy, the annoying paperclip assistant from Microsoft Office
plusmid

@blaurascon Yes, both for this and future weekends

Patton

@blaurascon They forgot to include “It is now!”

David Cohen

@blaurascon Stupid Google. Everyone knows an oil rig explosion is a work activity, so never at the weekend.

Ripp_

@blaurascon do you think they periodically ask questions like this to which the AI already knows the answer so it can locate and filter people trying to trick the system out of the system?

Alyssa Voronin

@blaurascon Did you recently buy a copy of How to Blow Up a Pipeline?

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