Email or username:

Password:

Forgot your password?
Andrew

Welcome to new people joining from 𝕏!

Remember, posts are called toots here, likes are called florps, retweeting is technically a cross-account posting exploit that they can't fix because we're using it, and our version of Grok is called Garfiald.

There's no algorithm here! Literally none. There is no computer code behind Mastodon. Each http response is typed out by hand by your server admin in real time. Sometimes this means you won't see replies from other servers, but that's ok, other servers are full of losers anyway.

People here make a point of using alt text — if you can't find an image you want to post, just post a picture of your cat and describe the correct image in the alt text. Nobody will notice, or at least nobody will mind.

The first thing you should do is make a pinned toot with your pronouns, political affiliation, and favourite Linux distribution. Cisgender people are welcome on Mastodon but aren't officially supported, so some features may not work properly.

But most importantly, have fun! Users found to be not having fun will be given a written warning in the first instance and banned if the behaviour continues.

63 comments
Ozzelot :anarchy: :linux:

@andrewt Also our music is called bonkwave, and simultaneously is not bonkwave.

Bálint Szilakszi

@andrewt and we do not, under any circumstances talk about pineapples

Andrew

@szbalint ugh, someone mentioned pineapples a couple of weeks ago and just, look, if i wanted pineapple chat i'd go to bluesky, that's what it's for

a fish named dog (Vote blue!)

@szbalint @andrewt can we refer to them as The Thing That May Or May Not Go On Pizza Depending On Your Opinion?

blausand 🐟

@FishNamedDog @szbalint @andrewt
No, def not.
The fruit that neither pines nor apples want to share their name with is rather acidic when binged on festivals, but on pizza it has a stance of royal magnitude.
Questioning it's cultural contribution to italian pancakes, that originally were meant to just eat up the rests of the other days, will be prosecuted all over the Fediverse!
</caps>

a fish named dog (Vote blue!)

@andrewt @szbalint fair enough but I feel like people have extra strong opinions about...uh...elmcantaloupe (it makes just as much sense!)?

James Wells

@szbalint
Yeesh, I won't make that mistake again... Was worse than when I made a joke about Taylor Swift on Twitter.

@andrewt

Рыжее солнышко :catrus: :tiny_star:

@andrewt@mathstodon.xyz omg this is gold, may I steal this and make a russian translation of the post for russian audience of mastodon network™?

WOWBAGGER 🇵🇸 Israel Is Evil

@andrewt toots and florps and Garfield sound stupid, so I'll call them what I wish

non-binary diety of spring Liliana

@andrewt The thing with pronouns, political affiliation and linux distribution is just reality though :blobCat_shrug:

Strange Culprits

@andrewt 🤣🤣🤣

We are 64% sure this description is 1,000,000% accurate

Stu

@andrewt That last part reminded me of a line from the British comedy the IT Crowd.
'Oh, by the way, anyone still experiencing stress at the end of the day... will be fired!'

Rozzychan

@andrewt
Newbies!
Don't believe the lie that likes are called floups
That was a joke.

Actually they're warbles. Kidding.
Anyway, welcome.

ticho

@Rozzychan @andrewt I believe the confusion stems from the fact that long-time users are used to "floups", which is what warbles were called originally, way back when.

All mentions of the old name have been scrubbed from the Mastodon code since, but you can still see them in old versions of the code, back when it was hosted not on Github, but on Bithug.

Curmudgeon

@andrewt

If you are the first person to florp a post, it's recommended (albeit not required) to respond to the post saying "firstflorp!"

Tucker's Balz 4 Harris/Walz

@andrewt
🥥 Eye am so so here for all the things you described, Andrew, that Eye went back to the angry bird site, forgot everything Eye knew about the Fediverse, and then came back here again to read and apply your tips.
Rawk on, sir! 🥥

brightside

@andrewt Looks like you forgot to mention John Mastodon :-)

Andrew

@brightside surely everyone already knows about john mastodon?

Ian K Tindale

@andrewt also don’t forget to say hello to John Mastodon

Vozy <3

@andrewt been using fedi for 2 years and i genuinely thought there was some kinda fedi garfield grok some how in some way. brain glitch

Dan Morgan :ksu:

@andrewt @cwebber
Also, people only use the #apple tag when they’re shitting on Apple, not actually contributing something useful to the discussion.

fr0g

@andrewt

I wish I could florp this twice.

Andrew

Always use #hashtags in your posts, they add a lovely splash of colour and really make your toots pop.

jer

@andrewt At least ten, and additional commonly #mispelled versions!

Erik Haugen

@andrewt well-actually-guy here: there is an algorithm, e.g. on mastodon.social it's "Newer posts with more boosts and favorites are ranked higher."

Nick

@andrewt

And I understand from @theropologist that beige.party robes in size M with cat ears are currently sold out.

DrYak

@andrewt Rofl-o-saurus.
Rex.

(which is coincidentally the Fediversese for rofl-copter. But only if the copter carries pineapples in its cargo).

Xerø

@andrewt you forgot the bit about all furries being automatically elevated to superusers.

Simon Green

@andrewt If you require any assistance, send your queries to oracle@internetoracle.org.

Yours Truly!

@andrewt

Have fun with your Alt Text. It gives you more words! Please be mindful of those who rely on Alt Text.

Cheers!

:mastodon:

Curmudgeon

@andrewt

It must needs be noted that the word "toot" is short for tootus. This is from Ancient Greek and not from Latin, so the plural is tootodes.
In practice, both "toots" and "tootodes" are used, the former most common among the young (<60) and Emacs users.

quadrivial

@andrewt So, what's everyone think? Vim or emacs? I'm more of a nano guy myself
<ducks>

jack is updating your database

@quadrivial @andrewt just enter your code by shorting out different lines on the address bus in time with the clock cycles

nyatalily (Natalie)

@andrewt@mathstodon.xyz lol the reactions on *key bring this to a new level

- posted by Natalie

Ahri Boy :heartSparkleEnby:

@andrewt@mathstodon.xyz please note that there are different fedi platforms such as Akkoma, Lemmy and Misskey, not just Mastodon.

Dr Pen

@andrewt For info of all new users. Ive been here a few years and never once called anything a toot. Post is fine. wth is a florp? Never ever heard that term, sorry. Forget the weird language, its not needed ;)

Go Up