I get the frustration, the anger, pain, resignation and worry.
If you need to defend yourself or someone else, then please do.
But defense can take many forms.
To get reductionist with it, you can defend against someone with a weapon by injuring them so they can no longer use it.
Or you can disarm them.
Or you can reduce their will to fight through intimidation. (Including mockery, “defeating them with facts and logic”, reminding them of the cost of conflict, even just not backing down can be enough!)
Or you can make them see your humanity and theirs.
Start at the bottom and work your way up.
The point is to avoid worse consequences for both of you and anyone nearby.