Gregory's Server
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@redezem As someone with a manufacturing background I found Agile very confronting when I first saw it in the flesh. Joined a hardware/software business and the software stuff frightened me, Please settle on a project plan @evcricket @redezem software engineering is not manufacturing. In the same vein, prescriptive scrum is not agile (adj.). On a more serious note, when you hear someone use “agile” as a noun - you’ve encountered a cargo cult. @jokeyrhyme @redezem @virtualwolf Scrum is terrible, but the manifesto itself is useless in practice as it is purely aspirational and gives no guidance as to how to do any of the above. It also grew out of corporate contract software development, so some of it is moot in other domains where clients aren’t changing their minds every 2 minutes. @bjn @jokeyrhyme @redezem @virtualwolf I guess you're lucky enough to not have worked with any of the Product Managers I have :D @jokeyrhyme I think it's mostly about "corporate agile", also called "agile waterfall" or "fragile" @redezem @virtualwolf
@jokeyrhyme I mean, sure, but also Agile has been Kleenex'd by Scrum. 9.5 times out of 10, the manager who brings in “Agile" is bringing in "The worst bastardisation of Scrum you can imagine” @redezem #PlanningPoker as well as #StoryPoints is only a tool to triage new backlog items. It can help the product owner to quickly find out which stories must be clarified. PO has 60 minutes max to present a dozen brand new stories and leaves that meeting with three stacks: "Well understood", "To be rewritten" and "Potential trainwreck". That is all and almost every application beyond that specific purpose is #agile cargo cult, especially #Velocity as KPI for team performance. @redezem this bullshit has nothing to do to do with the #agile #teamcoaching I do. I don't see any "inspect and adapt" there at all. Maybe it touches my work a little bit, because sometimes my customers do it like in the previous toot and I help them get away from that totally misunderstood bullshit process they have. @FalkAppel I don't doubt that haha. Given the response to the meme, I think a lot of people are stuck in *really terrible* project management that keeps getting slapped with the title "Agile”. There are a loooot of managers out there that think Agile is an excuse for just not doing the work. Probably means there's a lot of demand for your coaching to be honest! @redezem well there should be a lot of demand. Sadly a lot off people did the stuff from the meme and now #agile is bad and anyways we need less developers because AI is doing that job. The question is when they figure it out that that need good project and development people and some coaches to fix the broken system where those are put in. @FalkAppel @redezem “Agile” should just be dropped as a term, it’s slippery because many radically different ways of working have adopted the name, while generally it refers to Scrum. This allows religious wars over the meaning of agile and who is sticking to the true way. Whenever anyone says that word to me, I immediately turn off. Stop saying agile and describe how you actually work. @bjn @redezem agree. Theres a big conflict where people hate corporate so called "agile" and on the other hand no naming is left wich wouldn't be adopted by the people that destroyed the word "agile" if it works out to be seen on the project/job market. And sure I use this as little as possible on my project acquisition. @FalkAppel @redezem You're not wrong, but you might as well argue that true communism has never been tried when so many of us are working in the agile equivalent of Stalin's USSR. The presence of the word "scrum" on there is a dead giveaway about the kind of "agile" it's talking about: endless "ceremonies" pointlessly taking up time, more planning than doing, and more managers than implementers. @FalkAppel @redezem I've worked in genuinely agile projects back before the management consultancy blob consumed it, and it was very different, but I don't see much of that around these days. @threedaymonk @redezem so the agile stuff was really tried and I was there. I worked multiple in really #agile teams in the past and it was awesome. One was selfmanaged in a way that we even did the hiring when we needed new colleagues. (Boss was only asked to support with the paperwork) In another we "hacked" the surrounding bigger project by "We deliver you don't need to understand how" approach. Very different in each team, but always great. @threedaymonk @FalkAppel @redezem it's one of those things, ime if a company wants to do taylorism they're gonna do taylorism and dress it up as whatever is trendy. doesn't make it not taylorism just because they call it "agile"  @threedaymonk @FalkAppel @redezem The communism is dead on target. It's instructive, when mired an an Agile Scrum Retrospective Standup, to reflect on the actual original Agile Manifesto, which is the EXACT OPPOSITE of all that stuff. @redezem hmm, “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.” How about we build software based on gantt charts derived from how much money the sales guy expects to make when we deliver the software in 2 years time using requirements carved in stone by customers with LV tastes and dollar shop budgets. Like democracy, agile is the worst form of software development except for all the other forms of software development. And like democracy, agile works best when everyone is involved. @zebratale All I'm hearing is that development would be a whole lot more fun without all this capitalism involved 😂 *triggered* *Must resist urge to correct obviously sarcastic misrepresentation of a thing I like*  @a Oh cool, I'll have to read this. In the meantime, all I can think is https://xkcd.com/927/ @redezem We did the IETF Internet-Draft to describe the https://programming-motherfucker.com/ from Zed and to make it acceptable in bureaucratic processes ;-) @redezem A lot of these are about Scrum and not about Agile in general. But I agree Scrum sucks. @redezem What a load of shit. 1: Requirements change all the time because customers don't know what they want, because analysis is hard, and because people gain more insight as the project progresses. 2, 4, 5, 6: Only incompetent managers put too much stock in estimations. It's useful for a team to have an idea of complexity, but only for deciding a very rough planning. 3: That's not a thing. Go home, you're drunk. 7, 8: This is just retarded high school humour.  @redezem There's more to agile than just Scrum, you know. We use a modified Kanban process, having moved away from a strict Scrum one about two years ago. And I think it was the best thing we could've done. :) @redezem It DOES seem accurate ... except that it would also work for "STOP DOING ALL SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT" 🙂  @redezem This, but in more words… (I guess you know this is not true “Agile”, but “Agile, chewed by the corporations and spit out as a abomination”…) In my industry experience, "true Agile" is 1% as common as "Agile, chewed by the corporations and spit out as a abomination". I've worked with, and interviewed with, entirely too many people who adhere to the letter of the law of their Agile processes as though the slightest deviation would bring about Ragnarok.  @redezem All I can say is that it works for us. The point of agile isn't to get it done faster, its to get it done right with faster feedback. The military have this concept of the OODA loop, which needs to be as short as possible to let you react to new information. Agile has the same idea. No, requirements are not meant to change, but the reality is that users cannot envisage the new software and how they will work with it. Waterfall blames the user for that. Agile works with the reality. |
@redezem @ludicity tattoo this across my back so the scrum masters know who they’re fucking with