Gregory's ServerOur stopped clock technology is still in its infancy, but it's already reached an accuracy rate of two or more times per day, and there's no reason for us to believe that won't improve dramatically in the future
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@joe why, if you just look at the minute hand, itβs right dozens of times per day!  @Catfish_Man @beccadax @joe We already did this, but it was the day-of-year hand (in case it wasnβt clear, we did not do this, mainstream analog clock design never had a day-of-year hand)  @jrose @Catfish_Man @beccadax @joe "I mean, yes, it was off once every four years, but that was an edge case."  @AT1ST @jrose @Catfish_Man @beccadax @joe If you run this clock backwards it'll be right four times a day! Twice the accuracy with just this one small life hack!! Follow this channel for more financial advice!!! @Catfish_Man @beccadax @joe Add more hour hands, 11 more, and it'll be just as accurate as having no hour hands! @BigTheDave @Catfish_Man @beccadax @joe AND it will be accurate as well for other time zones! @rafa_font @BigTheDave @Catfish_Man @beccadax @joe "Pull Request: Adding 23 more minute hands to account for time zones with 30 and 15 minute offsets." @AT1ST @BigTheDave @Catfish_Man @beccadax @joe Requesting approval to push to Production. All functional tests are passing, we have thoroughly tested in each time zone in the world. Ready to roll!   @joe I wonder if anyone has considered combining readings from multiple stopped clocks with ensemble learning for higher quality results  @joe our clock that loses 1 second per hour is aiming to one-up you by boing locally right multiple times a day   @joe "But does it scale?" is what everybody wants to know. And yes, yes it does. Buying more clocks increases accuracy almost linearly.  @AlgoCompSynth sounds like you need to upgrade to Stopped Clock 16 Pro to enjoy the full benefits of stopped clock technology @AlgoCompSynth @joe That's why I will create competition! I intend to produce an innovative stopped clock! An 1-hour stopped clock! It will be right 24 times a day! Pre-order now for just 500$!  If we extrapolate that in the other direction, a stopped 6 hour clock would be right for 4 times per day.
 @joe I have improved the design by rotating it counter clockwise at a rate of one rotation of the long hand per hour and now Iβve duplicated the precision: the clock is right four times a day. @MyLittleMetroid @joe If we spend billions of dollars developing faster motors, it can be right practically all the time.  @MyLittleMetroid @joe Thatβs all very well in raw numbers, but our customer surveys say that consumers really care about performance per watt, a metric in which stopped clocks have a near infinite advantage.  @joe Before we smashed the clock mechanism with a hammer yesterday, it was accurate 0 times a day. If you look at the graph, we can extrapolate that by the end of next week... @joe check out my new AI that can tell the exact time with only a photo of a stopped clock ! @petelawler @joe @voltagex Exactly! Whenever the clock is wrong, it's because you're reading it wrong. Learn how to read the stopped clock more effectively. Online courses available at a 20% discount only today! @joe a lot of negativity in this space but we're here to build and people should respect that @joe beside those two ticks, the rest of the day still makes it a valid unreal time clock.   @joe it turns out if you hire a person to move the clock's hands every hour you can get the stopped clock pretty close to the correct time We pay them a few cents per clock moved. We expect to receive about ten million dollars for our first series A and-  @joe If we introduce active cooling, I believe we can overclock the stopped clock for improved performance. @joe @nazgul Pull the hour hand off and itβs right 24 times a day. #LessIsMore   @tomjennings @joe Breaking news! Just received a massive order of stopped clocks from a national railways company from a country in Southern Europe! "We plan to reduce customer complaints by half implementing this state-of-the-art technology" - according to their press release @joe we need to harvest all the stopped clocks in the world. as everyone knows, a huge amount of shit data is much better than one correct data point! @joe Our Intelligent Time service has over ten thousand stopped clocks and a sophisticated surveillance system closely examining what lots of people are looking at from moment to moment. When we report the time based on the stopped clocks that we see the most people looking at, we find that far more than twice a day our time is accurate, or at least plausible enough that most of our users don't notice. Once we can command even more stopped clocks and more surveillance, it'll be amazing. @joe our future plans of evolution include running multiple stopped clock in parallel and picking one at random. We already achieved remarkable accuracy gains in the lab.  @joe This just in: investigation of the recent 80% accuracy claims of SCT finds that Stopped Clock Technology firms have acchieved that number by paying hundreds of thousands of people in colonized nations to manually stop clocks at the correct times and return the results. SCT proponants responded for comment, saying this is just a temporary part of the process to train the clocks to stop correctly on their own @joe Stopped Clock Tecnology stock prices soar as new advancements are made. previously the accuracy of stopped clocks were doubled when researchers moved from using 24-hour clocks to 12-hour ones. After a period of stagnation they accieved the same feat again with the brilliant innovation of 6-hour clocks.   |
@joe im pretty convinced the stopped clock is sentient