@simon There's some work going on at https://johannhof.github.io/draft-annevk-johannhof-httpbis-cookies/draft-annevk-johannhof-httpbis-cookies.html to specify this. Does that draft at least improve the situation? I believe they're accepting complaints and suggestions.
@jyasskin that looks great! The thing that's missing is exact documentation as to which version of which browsers implement which policies - three years ago I was having trouble figuring out which browsers had actually implemented SameSite=lax by default, the situation on that is no better today!