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Courtney Cantrell

Here's a truth for you -- especially if you haven't hit your 40s yet, maybe not even your 30s.

The truth is this:

*Nobody* knows what the fuck they're doing.
If someone seems like they have their shit together, either they are presenting you with a completely false front, or they are in a season of The Total Occasional Fluke of Everything Apparently Going Right and Coming Together.

But what are we really doing? Nobody knows. WE'RE ALL JUST DOING WHAT WE CAN WITH THE TOOLS WE HAVE AT THE TIME.

46 comments
Hotter, More Cross Bunny

@courtcan

I'm "over 50" and have no idea what I'm doing.

Courtney Cantrell

@HCBunny I'll hit 47 soon and am finally IN MY CORE figuring out that I have nothing figured out. 😆

Paid lip service to the concept for a good decade before I had to admit it was just lip service.

Chris Friesen

@courtcan I actually found it empowering when I figured this out. I feel more comfortable putting my own ideas forward and am less inclined to wait around for someone who would (supposedly) know what to do.

Bruce

@courtcan
I remember when I was in my mid-20s, I figured I'd have my shit together by the time I was in my early 30s. I'm 63, now. HA!

Gabriel Pettier

@courtcan yeah, getting close on 40, and have been convinced of that for some time, some people seem to think they know what they are doing, distrust them in particular.

Crimfresh

@courtcan but some of us have power tools and others are banging two rocks together.

Jonas R. (er/ihm)

@courtcan I'd add:
If someone seems like they have their shit together, maybe they are just chill about not knowing what the fuck they are doing.

It doesn't have to be a false front nor everything going right - sometimes you're just stumbling through the dark and cool with it since you have no other option anyway: no light and no extra feet. Which just reinforces your last sentence.

TeflonTrout

@JonasJRichter @courtcan Seconded, I have my own goal in life, but it's not an end state. Do no harm, take no shit, and that's all I need to feel fulfilled. Everything else is ad lib

BronMason

@courtcan

Preach‼️

I once received this advice about feelings of insecurity or inferiority:

“Don’t compare your inside to someone else’s outside!”

Mikko

@courtcan

Courtney for president.

(Hastily crafting picket signs and making huge amounts of coffee and bagels.)

tsanos

@courtcan couldn't agree more. Could add, when offended or annoyed by something someone did, it is more likely that it is due to not thinking over not meaning well

Cy
The way I like to think about it is no one is supposed to be here. No one is supposed to be doing anything with anything. The ones who say they are are lying, or more likely very confused. Someone constructing a data center doesn't know why they're there any more than someone just wandering into the construction site. They just... went where the money was, because they needed to eat.

It's a bit more of an anarchic take on it. Nobody knows why some people have more of a right to be somewhere than others. That's why we say we know what we're doing, to try and separate us from them so we can have access and they can't f*ck it up. But we really don't...
The way I like to think about it is no one is supposed to be here. No one is supposed to be doing anything with anything. The ones who say they are are lying, or more likely very confused. Someone constructing a data center doesn't know why they're there any more than someone just wandering into the construction site. They just... went where the money was, because they needed to eat.
The House Of Sports Misery

@courtcan this is SO true.

The minute I stepped into the Managers Room, it was immediately apparent that no one has a clue and the only reason we're in there and other people aren't is opportunity. Plain and simple.

I wish I knew this when I was younger.

Kevin Lyda

@courtcan I'm soon to be 53 and honestly this is one of the best things you can learn after you hit your 20s. Some people know some things and can help, but for the most part we're all just winging it.

School's over - the simple problems with known, simple answers are gone.

Josh Grant

@courtcan can confirm. I'm still stuck on what I want to be when I grow up

barunick

@courtcan I Google a lot. It’s normal for me to say “hmmm I think it’s this but let me check on that”.

Despite what that piece of paper says you don’t need to know the ins and outs of everything. You just need to know a little bit about a lot and where your knowledge and expertise ends, and then you go find the answer from there.

All this industry is are shades of grey, sometimes the shade doesn’t matter as much sometimes it does. Your job is to find out when that is based on what you’re trying to do.

@courtcan I Google a lot. It’s normal for me to say “hmmm I think it’s this but let me check on that”.

Despite what that piece of paper says you don’t need to know the ins and outs of everything. You just need to know a little bit about a lot and where your knowledge and expertise ends, and then you go find the answer from there.

Nathan King

@courtcan I watched the news as a child and remember thinking, “I’m glad the adults have this figured out.” Then I became an adult and came to the same realization. Nobody knows what the hell they’re doing.

lj·rk

@courtcan The only time I know what I'm doing is when I'm shitposting. And even then I'm often beside myself.

Professor_Stevens

@courtcan

This is the Fallacy of the Middle in operation (and in the form of a self-contradiction, to boot).

David J. Atkinson #🟦

@courtcan You got it! I’m recently retired and I think I you figured out the key. It worked for me. **There is no formula** At best, what we have is a toolbox. Tools can be anything: rules, skills, a bit of knowledge, a personal value, whatever. The trick is knowing which tool to use at any moment, because life is moments. There is only “now” — yesterday already is in the past and tomorrow has not come yet. That’s it.

Guitarsophist

@courtcan

Shakespeare knew:

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;

Also:

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Waine

@courtcan
The corollary to this that I like to quote is 'It's all just humans/people".
By which I mean, when one is astounded by the lack of eptitude in a process or organisation, remember it's an emergent property of a bunch of people flapping about trying their best (or in some cases just the flapping).

klandwehr

@courtcan @jamesthomson I am pretty sure late in my life I am going to get my shit together. It’s going to be a glorious minute.

Alexander Dyas

@courtcan

I suggest an exception to this - in my limited experience, the people who aren’t afraid to say they don’t know, or they aren’t sure, tend to be the ones who kinda do know what they’re doing.

The more you learn, the more you realise how little you know.

australopithecus

@alexanderdyas @courtcan
To expand on and synthesize these posts, the Dunning-Kruger effect comes into full play here: if someone acts like they know what they're doing, they're probably just unaware of alternative possibilities (or in some cases willfully "unaware" that alternatives are viable).

Someone who really knows what they're doing typically just does it without thinking or making a big deal of it, and will a) assume everyone else also already knows a lot, and b) add caveats everywhere

Flaming Cheeto

@courtcan and yet most of the time the water comes out of the tap and is drinkable. Most of the time the electricity works. Most of the buildings and bridges don't fall over.
Somebody knows something and is getting signal through the noise

Hegel

@courtcan the most important principle I have mastered is S.A.b.t.A.* Nothing else is necessary.

*Sicheres Auftreten bei totaler Ahnungslosigkeit (Self-assertive presence in spite of complete cluelessness/ignorance.)

Slash909uk

@hegel @courtcan 😂
Also known as 'BS' your way out! Good luck my friend...

Asariel

@courtcan So true. Few people can pull their own $h*t together.

Jonathan Dechko

@courtcan Get out of my head.

Honestly, this is advice that ever 18-year old needs to hear

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