@Quenby oof, what an awful job of communicating she seems to have done. She wasn’t even answering the questions in the posted conversation, much less the one with her kid that conversation was about.

“Not like that” isn’t saying how she wanted him to respond. It’s listing a fail state after the fact, when the question was about what the success state would have required…

It’s not just me, that that’s a weird way to communicate, is it?

@Quenby I think it’s easy for parents to assume whatever their kids are doing is unimportant and hence it’s okay to just interrupt them. But imagine you needed to interrupt an adult in the middle of a task requiring concentration. You’d say something like “Excuse me. [pause] I’m really sorry to interrupt, but…”. Certainly our kids deserve the same courtesy.

@Quenby @lauralani Dont ask questions if you don’t want an answer.

@Quenby I’m frequently both people in this conversation

@Quenby Compassionate Fucking Buddha so much THIS! THIS RIGHT HERE!

We human beings have known now for OVER A HUNDRED YEARS that it takes time to mentally shift gears from one focus to another. That time can vary from a few seconds (for trivial foci) to as long as **FIVE MINUTES** for something that one is truly embedded in.

Give. People. Time. Before. Expecting. Considered. Responses.

@Quenby I cannot stand the condescending rhetorical questions you get in trouble for answering honestly. It's a total mind game.

@Quenby This 10,000%!!

@Quenby
Sounds like the adult assumes that she is higher up in the hierarchy. Which she isn't.

@Quenby

I forget which unschooling post I read, but they equated it with someone actively playing a sporting game (soccer, let's say) and a parent demanding the child stop playing the in-progress game to pay attention to the parent. That would be rude to assume, right? So why think that interrupting Minecraft is ok?