I was recently called a misandrist for the first time in my life. Why? Because I told a man that men needed to “behave better”. He screamed “not all men!” At me and then demanded I show more deference and acknowledgement that there are “good guys out there”.

This was someone I considered a friend - so I tried to explain that of course there are good guys - but we don’t know who they are. We have to approach EVERY man with caution because of the constant threat of rape and abuse.

I explained that’s why we say men have privilege - because they don’t have to move through life with that constant threat. They don’t have to be on guard ALL the time. They aren’t judged by what they wear, how many kids they have, how much they drink or how late they were out at night.

He proceeded to school me that he in fact experienced No benefit from being a man. He genuinely could not comprehend that I wasn’t saying he didn’t work hard or earn whatever he had - just that it would have been HARDER had he been a woman or marginalized in another way.

Nope. I was told I hate men and that we could no longer be friends.

guys - please don’t do this. I kept my cool and tried to gently explain where I was coming from only to get berated and repeatedly told that if I didn’t do exactly as he wanted - the friendship would be cut off.

This dude proved my point and couldn’t even see it.

We KNOW it’s not all men - but it’s too many men. And we DON’T know who the safe ones are.

I’m debating writing an article about this - especially considering disabled women are far more likely to experience abuse. I’m just not sure it “fits” with Disabled Ginger. Though reproductive health is certainly something I will be diving in to.

Thoughts? Is it too far removed from my normal topics?

#giselepelicot #notallmen #toomanymen #metoo #rape #abuse #misogyny #patriarchy #fuckthepatriarchy #shamemustchangesides #discrimination #womensrights #womenshealth #believewoman

I'm convinced that "healthy" people who don't need to spend time in hospital truly believe that if they need it the experience will be quick, pleasant and infection free.

Unless you interact with the healthcare system regularly - you really can't understand how bad it's become.

Hallway medicine, overworked staff, long waits, nosocomial infections, risk of mistreatment, malpractice and worse.

If you have complex chronic illness and need a specialist - good luck. It can take years to get an initial appointment in Canada - and you don’t even get a say in WHO you see. If you don’t like them? If they treat you badly? You’re back to the bottom of the pile. Many of us can’t wait that long.

I write this because I shared a story yesterday about a doctor demanding I remove my mask and saying they were “in control” and I wasn’t “dictating care”. A lot of people told me to lodge a complaint, that I should have just walked ok or gone straight to patient relations etc.

For the record I DID lodge a complaint - and sadly I also walked out albeit on ankles that were weeping fluid and had been dislocating because they were so swollen. I complained to nurse manager on the way out as well.

The problem is - especially if you have rare conditions - you’re completely dependent on the system. You can’t just “get another doctor”. Many won’t even take us because we’re “difficult”. Complaints often go nowhere. It shouldn’t be the case but it’s 100% been my experience.

We are normalizing some appalling behaviour - and I worry that with rising rates of chronic illness from unmitigated COVID - and continued strain on the healthcare system - this will only get worse.

I don’t say this to discourage people from lodging a complaint - but rather to level set expectations. I’m sure some complaints are taking seriously and the issue rectified - but many are not.

TW for this - but I encourage people to look up the case of Dr Duntsch. Look at how many complaints were lodged with the hospital and state medical board. The system protects its own - it always has. They covered their asses and allowed him to keep harming and killing patients until law enforcement stepped in.

There was a case in Canada of a doctor who was sexually assaulting patients for nearly two decades. Countless complaints were lodged - nothing was done. Patients were gaslit and asked “why did you keep seeing him” despite the hospital administration KNOWING it was a 2-3 year wait for another doctor.

This can’t stand. Patients end up abused with no recourse. Make no mistake that these traumatic situations 100% prevent people from accessing needed care. They cause them to become scared and distrustful with good reason.

If I were to write an article about the Canadian doctor - what happened, why it wasn’t addressed, how and why he finally did lose his licence - would people be interested?

In the interim - if you want to better understand how little autonomy disabled patients (and women) have over their bodies … please read this article I wrote about being denied a medically necessary hysterectomy.

I had a ferritin of zero. I was getting regular blood and iron transfusions. I was practically living in the hospital. I lodged more complaints than I could count. Spent years too sick to do anything and saw countless doctors. No one would help me because of patriarchal and misogynistic bullshit.

The surgery was finally performed but only when I was literally bleeding out in the ER. Years of my live gone and many awful experiences with doctors in the process.

We can and must do better - and my hope is that by sharing stories we will encourage others to speak up so people realize how common this behaviour is.

https://www.disabledginger.com/p/pregnancy-will-likely-kill-you-but

#CovidIsAirborne #CovidCautious #CovidIsNotOver #CleanAir #WearaMask #Disability #LongCovid #Ableism #Denial #CleanAir #Pandemic #PublicHealth #InfectionControl #Eugenics #SafeHealthcare #N95 #Respirators #MasksWork #MaskUp #Spoonie #Discrimination #Dysautonomia #mecfs #pots #mcas #communitycare #wearamask #chronicillness #keepmasksinhealthcare