We at Microsoft hope you'll enjoy the following yuri

Since all of you seem to yap so fucking much about Linux, I decided to finally try it. This thread is to document my experiences with it.

It's NNN, and there's no better time than now to switch to Microsoft Edge. Start Edging now.

Next Windows update will give you tits the size of basketballs and that's a promise.

Every time you install linux you're stealing a poor penguin from it's natural habitat and shoving it into your computer.
Compared to windows, where you're just shoving glass into your PC.
choose to allow penguins to be in their natural home, choose Windows.

First is Recall, then we start sending Microsoft representatives to watch over your shoulder as you use your computer.

To improve performance of Windows 11 systems, we will be forcing our entire Windows development sector to develop solely on bottom tier Chromebooks modified to run Windows. Against their will.
We will also be burning their more powerful computers, as described in the contract they signed when they joined us, we can do that.

I would like to formally apologize for my misbehavior on the internet here.
I will however not apologize for the pipe bombs. Those were gifts from me to you, and crafted with the highest quality materials.
We are very sorry about the AI stuff though, but we have to keep the shareholders happy or like 90% of the world's infrastructure will collapse

god damnit

Kitty cat meow meow