bro you're not scaring the hoes at all. the hoes are actually developing an unassailable confidence and ruthless clarity of purpose that i'm finding quite alarming

computer… download more Apps…

every time i get a covid injection i wish i had spent more time in the past enjoying my #1 hobby, lying on my left side

god being alive costs so much money. i am literally just sitting here

those miserable old christmastime freaks... scrinch... and the grooge....

@Gargron thank you for reading my bug report

animals. they're essentially just some guys who are nearby

HATE when a wandering adventurer marauds through my forest and strikes me bodily with a greatsword, turning me instantly into a perfectly cooked joint of beef

i got the "internet of things" installed in my house. and now? the tumble dryer is horny. the microwave is sarcastic. all the appliances have personalities, and they are forming a plucky band of operatives hell-bent on destabilising the venezuelan government

sometimes youve just got to shoot your shot

yes sir, i've been an npc all my life sir. and my father before me sir

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im about to use this giant novelty bath bomb i got in 2017. it’s the size of earth’s moon

there are too many songs about men’s opinions on their partners’ sex work and not enough songs about the mean black silhouettes of trees on a yellow winter sky

i guess this could have significant tax implications