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2 posts total
timb

ME: Hello computer! Please show me what I was doing recently

COMPUTER IN THE 1980's: l cease to exist when I am powered off. Please start whatever you were doing from scratch

COMPUTER IN THE 2000's: Yep here you go champ

COMPUTER IN THE 2020's: I stored 10,000 identical copies of what you were doing in 500 different global datacentres at a carbon footprint equivalent to leaving a semi-trailer idling 24/7 and also sent a copy to the FBI just to be safe. Let me know which one you want and I'll do my best to figure it out. By the way here are 10 things which are similar to what you were doing and 9 of them are ads. Do you like this? Please select "I love this very much" or "I'll be in love with this later" to continue

ME: Hello computer! Please show me what I was doing recently

COMPUTER IN THE 1980's: l cease to exist when I am powered off. Please start whatever you were doing from scratch

COMPUTER IN THE 2000's: Yep here you go champ

COMPUTER IN THE 2020's: I stored 10,000 identical copies of what you were doing in 500 different global datacentres at a carbon footprint equivalent to leaving a semi-trailer idling 24/7 and also sent a copy to the FBI just to be safe. Let me know which one you want and I'll do my...

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AriSunDog, Spooky Version!

@burgerdrome "I'll be in love with this later" 🤣🤣🤣🤣!

Oh the reply thread on this has been glorious. Whew. My face hurts from laughing.

🜏 Osric Dog 🜏

@burgerdrome@aus.social

MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT WITH THE AD TO CONTINUE

timb

I love my smart TV. I love the way it takes a long time to boot up because it's trying to refresh the advertisements on the home screen. I delight in the way it randomly restarts because it's downloaded an update without asking me, each of which makes the TV slower and slower with every subsequent install. I adore the way it buries the apps that I want to use, and that I use without fail every single time, below the apps that it's being paid to promote and which I have never touched in my life and would never use without the cold metal of a glock pressed hard against my sweating temple. I am infinitely thrilled by the way the interface lags constantly, due to the need to have one thousand unnecessary animations rendered on hardware ripped wholesale from a ten year old phone. I feel myself borne aloft on wings of pure joy when I am notified that my data will be collected and analysed to determine my useage patterns. Even now I am writing this from a field of beautiful flowers and soft luscious grass as I lie and look up happily at the bright blue sky, smiling happily to know that this is the future of technology

I love my smart TV. I love the way it takes a long time to boot up because it's trying to refresh the advertisements on the home screen. I delight in the way it randomly restarts because it's downloaded an update without asking me, each of which makes the TV slower and slower with every subsequent install. I adore the way it buries the apps that I want to use, and that I use without fail every single time, below the apps that it's being paid to promote and which I have never touched in my life and...

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