@shinmera what about responding but then doing a timed mute so things can't escalate >_>

@shinmera thanks

@shinmera sometimes brain starts spinning up a reply, and suddenly catches itself with "how much energy will we have to spend on whatever this is"

always fun when i catch myself, especially because it feels like a relief every time lmao

@shinmera it took a long fucking time to not just learn this but also put it in practise. i would just reply and spend all day wasting my energy of shitty people.

it helps to have more of a deadpan response, knowing these people will eventually fall on their own sword.

@shinmera

Sometimes, I will type a reply then delete the whole thing and see if I feel like typing it again. If I don't feel like typing it again, I wasn't that invested in it. If I do feel like typing it again, that first one was just a rough draft and I've given myself more time to think about it.

Edit: Sometimes, I just reply with "lol" and nothing else.

@shinmera
was going to argue on that but hey let's be fantastic. thanks

@shinmera That's me 8 times a day.^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H

*clicks fave star*

@shinmera Thank you. It's hard sometimes, but we never regret it when we delete and walk away.

@shinmera with age I now win that battle 9 times out of 10. Rather than brag about it, I would like to extend myself some grace for the 1 time out of 10 I lose instead and ruin mine and somebody else's day. Pride is easy, grace is hard.

@shinmera

99% of the time (I'm not perfect)
I type out the argument, feel better because I "vented", then delete the entire comment before hitting publish/send.
Life is more peaceful that way.

@shinmera

I don't understand arguing online, but I don't understand a lot of things..🤷‍♀️

Jamie

@shinmera I genuinely think I never post fifty percent of the toots I start writing, and that deleted half is disproportionately the arguments about the state of the world that will go nowhere half. I'd sort of like to feel I could rant a bit more at times, but I'm too tired for the nonsense these days and so it's probably for the best.

@shinmera also: realising that your rebuttal is wrong half way through, and learning something from it

@shinmera one of the very few ways I am good at using social media.

@shinmera all the time...

@shinmera 🫡 doing my best

@shinmera I deleted my Bluesky account this week rather than argue with someone. Does that count?

@shinmera Thanks! This gave me an idea for an experiment, and I'll follow all people who've replied to his toot. No idea what will come out of this, I hope it's something good.

@shinmera 👍🏻👍🏻

@shinmera
The secret is a perfect blend of anxiety and laziness.

@shinmera you just described half of my re… wait nevermind^H^H^H^H^H

@shinmera In my case, it's not restraint, just Social Anxiety Disorder, and I do the same thing with positive replies as well.

I have nothing to be proud of :P

@shinmera <takes a bow>

@shinmera Sometimes typing it then deleting it gives the same brief dopamine hit as posting it. And you get the added bonus of
a) avoiding the futility of arguing with a moron
or
b) sounding like a dick because upon reflection you had misunderstood the context

@shinmera And here I was thinking I was just indecisive! Thanks!

@shinmera

But that applies the other way as well. That is, it would be great if there were more people participating in the fight against ignorance.
In politics, e.g., that applies to the progressive wing, in particular, because that would have a snowballing effect.

@shinmera thanks

@shinmera @lisamelton I often find pressing the capital letters a lot more cathartic then the enter key. By the time I reach it can can discontinue.

@shinmera
....

....

Oh, nevermind

@shinmera I've never in my whole life of being online (25+ years) had an argument where I left it feeling good about myself or felt it was a worthwhile endeavor.

My wife has a better way of looking at it ... "if someone tosses a rope at you, you are under no obligation to pull on it."

@shinmera I am doing really really well then. 🤣

@shinmera thanks, it's the useful side of my social anxiety!

@shinmera@mastodon.tymoon.eu Hehehe I've discovered the enormous pleasure of responding, watching the flames build until there's a long thread and potential dogpile starting, then deleting my original comment to erase hours of conversation, thereby ending all possible responses.

It's like Quantum Surgery, erasing an entire spin-off timeline branch. Highly recommended. 😁

@shinmera
It takes awhile to realize you do not have to correct everything wrong on the Internet.

@shinmera I'm like this.

@shinmera seen.

@shinmera I have a 60% success rate!

@shinmera

@shinmera Thanks. I've been doing this more and more. Sometimes I "have to" reply, so I type my reply to get it out of my system and then I never press the send button.

@shinmera amen

@shinmera 9 times out of 10, I delete.

@shinmera

Bonus points if you sometimes start to reply, realize your counter-argument isn't as strong as you thought as you struggle to phrase it persuasively, and eventually discard the reply and just sit there thinking.

@shinmera

Oh, it's more that typing that response gives one a chance to count to 10, and come to the realization that one does not want to be dealing with this all day.

The mute (usually) button is so fast, and right there.

Also, how did you know? Are you peering at me via Alexa?

Wait, I don't Have Akexa 🤓 🤣🤣🤣🏆🤣

@shinmera It's all in the ego. ♥️

@shinmera does it count if I don't even get to the "start typing" part?

@shinmera especially on mastodon. I don't want to be the same person I was on reddit.

@shinmera The inner voice asks me if the current comment is a hill I’m willing to die on. The answer is usually a no.

@shinmera I've gotten much better at that these past few years.

@shinmera

I do this all the time, but since I don't do it every time it looks like I don't do it

@shinmera I do that a LOT.

@shinmera

It’s even more impressive if you type out your scathing response. Look it over and then realize there are facets you didn’t account for. Never be too proud to learn something along the way.

@shinmera
I am one of those. It’s been a struggle. 😁

@shinmera I feel so seen!

@shinmera Thank you!

@shinmera it’s VERY CHALLENGING. I recommend to all that you send the email to yourself and wait 24 hours before following through