Every single one of us has probably made a joke about searching recipe blogs for basic information, and finding "Here's how you make boiled eggs. It's easy and fun! I was in an alley in the outskirts of Algiers in 1987 the first time I watched a man die. I can still remember the blistering sun, the smell. Since then" for like forty pages of meaningful story and protein chemistry, all while you are in front of a pot of boiling water with an egg and your question is "how long do I boil an egg".