I understand the frustration, but think this is a case of a "least worst" solution?
Being on a centralised social network is simpler because you have no options. If the person running the network does something bad (as we can see now with Musk on Twitter) then you just have to accept it.
The range of options on here means it does get more complicated sometimes, but it also keeps you safe from Musk-type scenarios because you can switch servers or apps if something bad happens.
@feditips @jonny probably, but still frustrating. Is there a list of servers that pledge to stay up to date? A list of apps that will expose all settings?