Every Internet Child Protection Bill:

- "Children are in danger because child predators are uploading cheese pizza into iCloud or something so we better ask for your IP, MAC address, phone number, credit card information, your ID number, your fingerprint, and also a DNA sample in order to verify that you are not a predator. You will also grant us the ability to access your data online and let us monitor your activity in order to ensure that you are not endangering the kids online."

- "How about not letting children online without adult supervision?"

- "YOU HATE CHILDREN YOU PEDO!"