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Top-level
Now, they're probably cagey about the appropriate speed at which to spin a baby out straight out of a uterus because this science has never been tested. In fact, it's hard to find any data as to whether g-forces even *can* make anything shoot out of the pelvis. To prove or refute the concept of the birth centrifuge, can any astronauts, pilots or others who have had high-g training tell us if they let out a bit of wee or poo when you were in the centrifuge? 47 comments
You might be worrying what happens to the baby once sufficient centrifugal force is applied. Don't worry, it doesn't go flying across the room! There's a net to catch it. There's even a little bit of cotton wadding to prevent it being slammed into any machinery. The net still raises unpleasant questions as a newborn baby's skull bones aren't fused yet so being accelerated into a net probably isn't good for its head. Also, the Blonskys don't tell us what's supposed to happen to the placenta. Does it slam straight into the baby from behind? According to the story behind their design, the Blonskys - husband and wife - had visited the zoo and seen an elephant twirling in circles. A zookeeper explained to them elephants do this before giving birth. Which, by the way, they don't, because centrifugal force isn't necessary for birth. If the Apparatus For Facilitating The Birth Of A Child By Centrifugal Force was in fact some clever piece of art critiquing medicalisation of birth, then the Blonskys played a blinder, as the patent documentation is delivered entirely straight-faced and with huge attention to detail. You can enjoy the full technical specifications of the birth centrifuge here https://patents.google.com/patent/US3216423A/en Unsurprisingly, the birth centrifuge never went into production. The achievements of the Blonskys were recognised in 1999 with a posthumous Ig Nobel Prize for Managed Health Care.  @vagina_museum I notice that the Dublin Science Gallery built a version of this for their ‘Fail Better’ exhibition: https://dublin.sciencegallery.com/failbetter Perhaps their recreation of the Blonsky device could be acquired by the Vagina Museum 😊  @transponderings @vagina_museum  @vagina_museum My only explanation for the elephant part of this story is that the poor thing displayed stress behavior caused by the facilities.  @vagina_museum Like Raspberry awards for movies... @Sassinake @vagina_museum They said "Ig Nobel" prize. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ig_Nobel_Prize  @Sassinake the Ig Nobel Prize is a prize for science that first makes you laugh and then it makes you think. Every year they do a great show when handing out prizes. Have a look at their website: https://improbable.com/ @Sassinake @vagina_museum (yes, I'm a scientist and yes, the Ig Nobel time is usually the most funny part of the year for me)  @vagina_museum i wonder if it's coincidence that a few years later Heinlein described childbirth on a spaceship being assisted by a well-timed sudden increase in the artificial gravity field. (The birthing position was not supine though.) I'm sure he was trying to be helpful or modern or something, but, oh my. Of course this was Time Enough For Love and it was probably one of the less-problematic things in it for a modern reader. I'm guessing because I don't dare read it again in this century… @vagina_museum I got pretty far without cracking up, but the net and the attached visualization got me good. @vagina_museum it's a shame. This could have reduced parental stress of naming the baby. Just have a list of your favourite names printed on the outer circle and at the location the baby flies out… tadaaa, it 'chose' its own name.  @vagina_museum It appears that someone wrote an opera about this (?!), entitled “The Blonsky Device” @vagina_museum @vagina_museum @vagina_museum makes you wonder why they didn’t try to register patent on birth by bungee jump @vagina_museum I wonder if this is where Heinlein got the idea that he used in one of the sections of Time Enough for Love ? @I_Like_Books @vagina_museum I legit don't remember this part, do you remember where in the book it is? Gonna pull out my copy cause whoooo, I gotta re-read that in light of knowing about this lol @vagina_museum I can’t be the only one sitting here going don’t let the GOP find out about this, they’ll make it mandatory in all hospitals 😬 @LetsBuild @vagina_museum was just thinking this, with hospitals losing doctors cause of abortion laws making it harder to treat pregnant women.  @vagina_museum Wow... just... wow... Ima have nightmares now xD I usually stir well away from med stuff when patent diving because there are some... DAARK stuff....... @Burn_this_ @vagina_museum @vagina_museum looks like the creators didn't spend a second thinking about cleaning that thing after use.   @vagina_museum I was hoping to see doctors running around the machine to catch the baby, with relays and all. Kinda disappointed ngl  @vagina_museum I was worrying exactly that. I had assumed that there would be a team of professional cricketers particularly skilled in slip fielding standing around ready to catch the baby, so I'm glad you put me right.  @vagina_museum  @vagina_museum Having been present for the birth of my child, and seeing my ex suddenly stand and squat to give birth, I can say that gravity does help a bit. But I'm not sure the intersection between "using centrifugal force" and "safe birth" exists. @angusm @vagina_museum @cstross I do not believe I am alone in saying that centripetally launching babies into space is not the galaxy-colonizing future we were promised. @richie @vagina_museum @cstross I do not believe I am alone in saying that I have sometimes met babies that I would like to see launched into space. @angusm @richie @vagina_museum @cstross when it comes to launching people into space, I think this is one of those rare cases where many… many wealthy adult males should most certainly exercise their privilege to go first. And preferably not come back, unless it’s to burn up in the atmosphere. @AlexanderMars @angusm @vagina_museum @cstross Where the Venn diagram of "babies" and "wealthy adult males" is a circle.  @angusm @vagina_museum @cstross Good grief! That's pretty much the launch plan in "The Brick Moon" from 1869! @vagina_museum@masto.ai Wondering if they came out with the idea when trying to take out a stuck asparagus (e.g.) from the can by spining on themselves... |
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@vagina_museum If any of them gave birth in one, science would be interested too