True happiness is not actually a positive emotional state. It is an internal reclaiming of power that allows each outcome to be experienced in the most pure and unaltered way. In order to be happy, you must reclaim your power from the people, places, and things that are used to define your existence. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be pleased or displeased by other people’s behavior. Instead, you no longer rely on the actions of your outside environment to determine your status in life.
To rely on others for your primary sense of validation and fulfillment is a play of codependency. In spiritual terms, it is referred to as attachment. When codependency or attachment runs your reality, the changes of others can shake the core of your emotional foundation. While it is natural to grieve the loss of loved ones or feel heartbroken when relationships end, the attachment of codependency is more so a reliance on needing others to act or be a certain way, in order for you to feel whole. Ultimately, every form of codependency or attachment can only lead to blame and disappointment. That is, until your power is reclaimed. Once this occurs, your happiness is determined by the quality of your choices instead of on the reliance of other people’s behavior.
True happiness is freedom from relying on anything to be any particular way, which allows everything to be exactly how it is meant to be. True happiness doesn’t even require you to accept however things seem, since the very thing you are guided to accept is however you feel in response to the situations in view. Even in the presence of circumstances that you are unable to accept or “be ok with”, what are the most inspired courageous choices that you can make to bring into the moment the type of person you’d like spend more time around.
True happiness doesn’t blame itself for the actions of others or rely on others for the sustaining fulfillment of inner wellbeing. Instead, it looks at the behavior of others as flash cards that offer opportunities to anchor a more positive vibration. When others are deceptive, true happiness dares to become more honest. When others are cruel, true happiness chooses to be more kind, patient, and gentle. When others are judgmental, true happiness becomes more forgiving. When others ignore, true happiness spends more time cherishing the one who was disregarded, left out, or overlooked. When others are controlling, true happiness sets itself free and moves on toward greater horizons of exploration.
Whether you are ready to redefine your happiness by the actions you take, remain stuck in the chaos of relying on others for approval, or cannot seem to make changes in your life until humanity shifts first, you always deserve more love, not less. May today be an opportunity to love the one who lives for the approval of others while denying themselves approval along the way; embracing the one whose sense of wholeness is determined by the behavior of others and even cherishing the innocence that believes being high has anything to do with the happiness you seek.
May you come to recognize how true happiness cannot be affected by the actions of others, since happiness is merely a reflection of the quality of your personal conduct. If anyone or anything can affect your happiness, true happiness has yet to be found. Once discovered, no person, place, or thing can affect your infinite wellspring of serenity, peace, and power, which puts you in the best position to develop long-lasting relationships that always begin from the inside out.
How much more often do you need to love yourself in order for your feelings to not be determined by others? The answer to this question is not a fill-in-the-blank answer, but the willingness to encourage, support, admire, and compliment yourself on a daily basis, whether it shifts how you feel, provides the high you constantly desire, or embraces the one who wishes that life was anything other than the way it seems to be.

Matt Kahn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDYfEBY9NM4