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82mhz

Does anyone have experience with running their own #xmpp or #matrix server just for friends and family? I have thought about doing this for a while, but I still can't decide if it's a good idea or a terrible one 😉

Any experiences or thoughts about it are welcome!

48 comments
uɐıʇsɐqǝs

@82mhz I am running several PRosody installs for me and family. Works well and though it sometimes needs a bit of maintenance (certificates mostly), it runs rather smooth for me and i don't think i will stop doing it. For #xmpp there is @snikket_im which is a battery included docker stack for hosting your own xmpp. I tested it and it is quite nice.

82mhz

@aslmx @snikket_im Never heard of snikket, but it's been mentioned repeatedly on here, so I'll check it out, thanks for the reply!

uɐıʇsɐqǝs

@82mhz
Snikket is a dockerized @prosodyim 🙃
If you like configuring Stuff yourself, you can do it manually.

But if you want to get running quickly, I do definitely recommend to try out @snikket_im

Dook

@82mhz I know from seeing others talk about it that Matrix is quite bulky compared to xmpp. Been thinking of doing something similar, so will be keeping an eye on this :)

82mhz

@dook
Yes if anything I would set up an xmpp server, I'm at least a little familiar with xmpp already.
The hardest part is going to be to convince ppl to give up WhatsApp though... "But it works so well, why should i use something else?" 😬

Dook

@82mhz I'd say it'd be good to start off as something seperate to whatsapp! Maybe do things on xmpp you can't do on whatsapp, or just it different!

guy deborg

@82mhz not personal experience, but i have the same curiosity and github.com/spantaleev/matrix-d has been highly recommended to me

Moanos

@brent I run this since a few years and it just works™. Upgrades are two commands, backup just a few config lines. It is also not too complicated to set up SSO if you have multiple services for your family.
Feel free to ask any questions if you need help with the setup!

82mhz

@brent Thanks! I'll have a look :) @moanos

Cornelius K.

@82mhz ran a matrix server for a tiny company (2 full time employees with a frequently changing handful of freelancers and consultants).

Matrix was easy to setup, integrate with SSO, and the Element client is very nice. Only hrdle was getting people to understand the need to keep a key backup / code for enrolling new clients. But that isn't a daily occurrence so... Think at this point it may be more "normal user " friendly than XMPP... Especially on the client side (IMO).

Shura

@82mhz Try #snikket. It's preconfigured #xmpp server with automatic install

82mhz

@shura It's been mentioned a few times, I'll check it out, thanks!

bitkeks

@82mhz as mentioned, Prosody + Certbot is the way to go. Automate backups and package updates and it's nearly no maintenance.

Gytis Repečka

@82mhz Used to run Openfire by Ignite Realtime XMPP server (Java based) for personal purposes when Gmail was still publicly federating. Openfire is really convenient and easy to setup 👍 Only issue I can remember was some strong encryption library needed to be set up manually due to US encryption export law.

82mhz

@gytis 👍​ thanks! I'll check it out :)

Gytis Repečka

@82mhz Please post here your feedback - really curious how much Openfire has improved over time 🤓

Minami-o le sabreur

@82mhz Been running a Prosody server for quite a few years, now, just for my family. Configuration can be a bit complex at first, but I’ve noticed they put a lot of effort in automating what could be over the years, so initial setup for chat is now a no-brainer and the documentation is great. The developers and community are nice and ready to help, in my experience.
Once all is set up, provided you automate certificate renewal, everything runs smoothly and effortlessly.
Don’t hesitate any further, you won’t regret it!

@82mhz Been running a Prosody server for quite a few years, now, just for my family. Configuration can be a bit complex at first, but I’ve noticed they put a lot of effort in automating what could be over the years, so initial setup for chat is now a no-brainer and the documentation is great. The developers and community are nice and ready to help, in my experience.
Once all is set up, provided you automate certificate renewal, everything runs smoothly and effortlessly.
Don’t hesitate any further,...

C'était Marud depuis le début :mastodont_v2:

@82mhz@oldbytes.space I've set up a matrix server only for my family. (I had an ejabberd server before but I ditched it as I was able to have things like group calls and file transfert was very slow)
It runs without federation and is used for text, audio and video.

It's actually pretty cool, but the real problem comes with the turn server used for all the non-text communication. I had a few issues with it and sometimes it just derps without clear explaination, but it's still a really good thing to use.
The only issue coming from the matrix side was the key exchange between me and a single user that broke last time and forced me to remove every channel the user was in to recreate them.
I still don't know why it had this behaviour.

@82mhz@oldbytes.space I've set up a matrix server only for my family. (I had an ejabberd server before but I ditched it as I was able to have things like group calls and file transfert was very slow)
It runs without federation and is used for text, audio and video.

It's actually pretty cool, but the real problem comes with the turn server used for all the non-text communication. I had a few issues with it and sometimes it just derps without clear explaination, but it's still a really good thing to use.

Kevin P. Fleming

@82mhz I have been running a family (two people) Synapse server for a couple of years. No complaints, and recently I added Discord and Signal bridges.

Brie Mmm
@82mhz I do, #xmpp on #ejabberd. Nothing interesting to share, just works. Similar setup works for my company.
weilawei

@82mhz Yes, I run an #XMPP server, using #Prosody. What are you interested in learning more about?

82mhz

@weilawei Just gathering info right now... as some people mentioned here, getting people to switch to a different client is probably going to be the hardest thing, if not downright impossible :(

9x0rg

@82mhz

I use XMPP for my family chat and use @yunohost which comes with a pre-installed XMPP server. It just works.

82mhz

@9x0rg @yunohost What are your experiences with yunohost in general? I've had a quick look, but haven't tried it out yet.

9x0rg

@82mhz Been running @yunohost since the very beginning (or so) I believe and it's a breeze to install and maintain. Also, shall the user want to harden a few config files (nginx security for instance) it's doable without breaking everything. So you're not locked into the ecosystem.

They now have tons of applications and a great support forum.

It's brilliant.

82mhz

@9x0rg @yunohost This sounds great, yunohost has been mentioned to me a bunch of times now, I'll definitely check it out :)

weilawei

@82mhz Reliable clients has been the biggest issue. I'm recommending Conversations on Android (available as an APK on the F-Droid website or through the app), Monal on iOS, and Gajim on Linux.

An issue: iOS doesn't support background connections and XMPP is designed to use a long term open connection for each client. You'll have to enable push notifications, which means ... everything goes through Monal and Apple. Enable OMEMO.

Block IPs by regions your users aren't in and block log failures.

82mhz

@weilawei Good to know about the iOS connection issues... and yes, encryption is mandatory of course!

ged
@82mhz been running an xmpp server for 2 years now. started mostly for friends and family. havent had much interest though. whatsapp too strong for them to leave. we use it with a couple of friends just for the fun of it.
weilawei

@82mhz Also, there are a number of MUCs (group chats, multi user chats in XMPP speak) dedicated to the operators of servers and the various clients. You should at least join the operator's MUC to be responsive to abuse reports or to report to other admins.

Final thought: once it's set up, and certificate updates are automated, it's very little work. I keep an eye out for software updates, check the admin mail account, but otherwise have little to do.

82mhz

@weilawei Thanks, that's some great tips :) Haven't decided on anything yet, I think I just have to try a few things ;)

Dawid Rejowski

@82mhz

I was hosting Matrix (Synapse) on YunoHost for my friends, now I'm hosting public server on full system.

Just for some friends Matrix would not be heavy, but it's still done. Synapse does not garbage collect everything, you must manually do a script to remove empty rooms for example. Calls are clunky and only really work in Element app right now.

Never hosted XMPP but it's battle tested for 20 years and while it does not look new and shiny, it's rock solid. Especially if you want to do start calling your friends through it.

@82mhz

I was hosting Matrix (Synapse) on YunoHost for my friends, now I'm hosting public server on full system.

Just for some friends Matrix would not be heavy, but it's still done. Synapse does not garbage collect everything, you must manually do a script to remove empty rooms for example. Calls are clunky and only really work in Element app right now.

82mhz

@didek Thanks for the reply! What are your experiences with yunohost? Never tried it, but several people mentioned it to me...

crab

@82mhz My org runs its own XMPP server for our internal group chat. It works relatively well, and Prosody is a pretty lightweight XMPP server which is relatively easy to set up and configure.

XMPP clients aren't the greatest though, and using them is often pretty confusing. I still don't completely understand how all of the XMPP concepts work.

jabberati

@operand @82mhz What #XMPP concept do you not completely understand?

Daniel Lowe

@82mhz The hard part is getting them to use one more thing. It was insurmountable in my case.

82mhz

@dl In all honesty it will probably be impossible for me too.... but one can dream, right? ;)

jabberati

@82mhz I run a @prosodyim server at home for my family. If you're hosting on an home internet connection I would recommend enabling the s2s_keepalive module, if you have problems that your TCP connections get dropped by your ISP.

Johan Silkens

@82mhz I've just set one up in Docker. With the exact same purpose as you describe. I especially like the idea that it's also possible to connect to other 3rd party messaging services too via bridges. So far I've no exerience with it yet on how it performs and what the UX will be.

matrix.org/ecosystem/bridges/

82mhz

@admin Yes, the bridge thing sounds very interesting! Please share your experiences when you've used it for a while, I'm very curious :)

Johan Silkens

@82mhz I will :) I can interact with other users from the same instance, but somehow I cannot do that with users on other instances (e.g. matrix.org). Something to figure out in the upcoming days.

Matt 🌻

@82mhz Yes! I run one. Nobody uses it. 😆

I tell people about it, get them on the apps, and then slowly one by one they go back to using WhatsApp, Signal, Telegram, Instagram... anything else to message.

🤦‍♂️

I hope you have better luck than I do at convincing people to stick around.

The problem is that they only message me on there. None of their other contacts use Matrix.

82mhz

@matt Honestly, that's what I expect here to happen as well. Friction is a powerful force, and the friction of staying with whatsapp is an order of magnitude smaller than the friction of using that new app that matt installed on my phone and that looks and functions exactly like whatsapp, but worse.

Also, not to forget, we are here in our little techie bubble where we care about privacy and encryption and data sovereignty, but who else does? The majority of people don't even know what metadata are, much less why it shouldn't end up in the hands of big corporations, and even if you explained it to them they don't understand or simply don't care. I had a lot of discussions about this that just made me want to pull my hair out (thankfully I'm already bald ;) )

So yes, this would probably never be more than me spending a lot of time setting something up that will end up going unused. Then again, if it's fun and I can learn something, why not just do it anyway ;)

@matt Honestly, that's what I expect here to happen as well. Friction is a powerful force, and the friction of staying with whatsapp is an order of magnitude smaller than the friction of using that new app that matt installed on my phone and that looks and functions exactly like whatsapp, but worse.

Greyor ἀγλαόπεπλος

@a @82mhz @brainwane so I run XMPP through my YunoHost server; it comes by default with the server software. It has really been very easy! yunohost.org/en/XMPP_server

I ran a Matrix server previously, also on YunoHost, and it wasn't too bad, but user administration was a bit difficult. github.com/YunoHost-Apps/synap

There is a Synapse-admin app that was somewhat helpful once I figured it out: github.com/YunoHost-Apps/synap

Anyways I have my spouse and my sister on XMPP and have very few issues! Hope this is helpful.

@a @82mhz @brainwane so I run XMPP through my YunoHost server; it comes by default with the server software. It has really been very easy! yunohost.org/en/XMPP_server

I ran a Matrix server previously, also on YunoHost, and it wasn't too bad, but user administration was a bit difficult. github.com/YunoHost-Apps/synap

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