Gregory's ServerYou know that horror film staple where the victim is trying to get away from an axe murderer and they turn the key but the car won't start?
Well, it's time to upgrade that trope, so to speak
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68 comments
 @viq  @lcamtuf there are some many edge cases where not being able to use your car during emergencies will cause trouble..   @TheRednBlackOne @lcamtuf Already here. Have you heard of the BMW Heated Seats subscription? @lcamtuf Love my Tesla, it’s such a step up in driving. Still has some issues but still has been more reliable than my ICE vehicles. But those tier 2 city charging stations need an upgrade like my ISP. @Prometheus @lcamtuf 50k miles into driving Tesla and I hate it. First year was cool and all. But the constant charging and waiting on long trips. And monitoring charge and the annoying lack of buttons while trying to change AC during driving. I am ready to go back to a hybrid. @DetectiveP @Prometheus @lcamtuf or get an ev from a real auto company? I have a Hyundai ioniq and it’s fantastic. @lcamtuf @DetectiveP @richservo I rent it out to mitigate the data collection. Good idea to keep it shiny as long as possible.  @lcamtuf Could you give a little more context here? As a Tesla owner (unfortunately, but not worth buying a new car over it) I've never seen this. I'd like to know if it's something I'd need to worry about, or just some weird edge case. @lcamtuf one for the 2nd edition of your book about doomsday prepping 😂 Btw I love your work, writings and books thank you so much @lcamtuf this seems like something that would cause anyone in my family to either yell "FUCK" at the top of their lungs, or start crying. or one after the other
@lcamtuf “we see you tweeted something mean at Elon. Your car is locked until you delete it” @lcamtuf Might be that there was a fault in the software before. @lcamtuf and if you're buying a Tesla, this is the least of your worries. At this point we should all know better. @robincapper @lcamtuf I don't get it. Everything I've heard about how TSLA runs and treats employees over the past 5+ years told me I'd never ever buy something from them. Ppl kept doing it anyway, because praise be to The Elon, and now they're surprised they have major glaring flaws to deal with. @NerdShinobi @robincapper @lcamtuf they’ve always been crap. It’s like bmw. Everyone that owns a bmw knows they are shit and fall apart at 100k miles. But they still buy them. @robincapper @NerdShinobi @lcamtuf *full self driving requires 100% driver attention with both hands on the wheel at all times! @lcamtuf Back when I was drawing Noise to Signal cartoons on the regular, probably at least half of them were jokes that took tech to absurd lengths. Now reality does that for us — every day brings new @internetofshit material. @lcamtuf Fun fact: The teslamotors.com domain was taken over by script kiddies in 2015. They changed the nameservers in order to receive password resets for Tesla and Elon's accounts. During this time, the existing DNS records the cars were using to access services disappeared. Tesla cars could not start, lock/unlock doors, manage the climate control, or use the radio.   So what's the Microphone icon on that dashboard display for... so you can go all Karen on your car? "Not starting MY ASS!!!... where's your manager... I demand to speak to him right NOW. @lcamtuf K, the one sus dipshit guy goes outside with his flashlight to "check it out". He jumps in his tesla to gtfo and abandon the others. Jason/Freddy/Mike appears right in front of him -- dipshit floors it to run him over, but the tesla won't do it. Jason gets dipshit with a pair of chopsticks.   @lcamtuf I could see movie audiences laughing at a character seeing the car unable to start up because it needs an update, and then as the killer creeps closer with no way to get away the horror would dawn on everyone. This seems like a very dangerous thing in many situations, this can't be real? Or if it's real, it can't be legal?  @lcamtuf one more reason Tesla is SHIT! My Hyundai Ioniq key fob died and I was like hmmm, now what. I tried holding the dead fob to the penel near the start button and it said, press the button with the fob. And I was off. I’ve heard of people being stranded by teslas bullshit.  @lcamtuf this is abnormal. Teslas are not a PS3. You can choose to not install updates. I did a search on this error and it seems a few people encountered it when their cars failed to finish an update and were left in some weird state that required service. https://teslamotorsclub.com/tmc/threads/software-update-required-contact-tesla-service.231570/ @lcamtuf hehe mine would be trying to figure out how to get the charge cable to release 🤦♀️ recently got a new EV of a different make 😱 and trying to work out when it will let you remove the cable is currently quite challenging. Does it need to be unlocked but on switched on? Or unlocked and switched on? And also it switches itself on without a key or a button to press which is frankly just weird. 😂 plus we’d need to go into settings to turn off lane assist to run the baddie over! @lcamtuf I'm a software person and I haven't had a car for over a decade but, if I ever have one again, it will have a electromechanical switch to start it, no software involved. @lcamtuf Another one with Teslas (maybe other EVs, I don't know?) is that they can go into a deep sleep, and can take multiple minutes to wake up enough to be driven. Every time that happens to me, I think about axe murderers. |
@lcamtuf At least it doesn't try to update while you're driving.