@HelloAndrew @dorward All that needed to be said in technical terms already got said.
Let me just add that this is a universal experience. I think I'm a programming language polyglot who knows ~10 programming languages well; I'm a confident sysadmin; and yet I often have to fight a sense of impostor syndrome: I feel like I'm just cobbling together things other people have built and those other people are the real magicians.
@Tim_Boettcher @dorward i’m really surprised how much this is affecting me emotionally but for the first time in 40 years I feel like a future shock like I’m too old to learn the basics of the world I live in all of a sudden. It’s really quite emotionally upsetting. So I’m very grateful for people trying to help.