Today we'll hit 310 K in the village. Our solar-powered aircon is ready to go, we have a damp towel in our fridge for emergencies, and we've checked round our neighbours to see who wants an invite if their place gets too hot.

Some people don't have very useful plans (i.e. windows and curtains open “to let the fresh air in”). Sorry, but the air will not be fresh. Keep curtains and windows closed and use a fan, dunk your feet in water and so on. Just please have a plan.