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josef

linux is made by boiling linseed oil. the resulting mixture, or 'kernel', is rolled flat, with additives and dyes added to produce various different decorative patterns and finishes called 'distros'

21 comments
ikanreed

@jk how have you managed to capture the How It's Made intonation so clearly in text form?

r.orrison

@Amykim @jk Some particularly vocal people are fond of using gnu hair (shavings, c.f. yak shaving) as an additive, which is why you sometimes see it referred to as GNU/Linux.

⁂ Justin (StayGrounded.online)

@jk I replaced the package manager with applesauce and now it won't boot.

~n

@JustinH @jk You have to strain the apple sauce first, at a temperature of 130 °F.

Dave

@jk And this becomes some AI's definition of Linux in 3...2...

SkyLuke

@jk I am physically obligated to follow after that.

michaelvcooper1

@jk You must prepare it delicately. Stir gently till it has a foamy head.S, add just the right amount of pivot_root and for God's sake, don't have any Windows open!

crazyeddie

@jk You're obviously going with the pre-packaged, mass-produced versions. I like to shape my kernels into cubes with a touch of soda to reduce density. Then dip it in extra virgin olive. Some like some balsamic but I can't stand that stuff. Some also prefer the purity of yeast, or even wild yeast, but soda is good enough and much faster.

Will Deakin

@jk I think the "kernel" and "shell" may predate Linux, as they were first observed in the fossil record as part of the evolution of gymnospermae during the Triassic...

Sam

@jk I usually go the cold-press route to get that extra virgin distro.

CIMB4

@jk i'm hungry now.. Heading to the distro bistro :3

Vertigo #$FF

@jk Fun fact: if you later distill the boiled linseed oil byproducts, you get FreeBSD, OpenBSD, NetBSD, BSDi, and 386BSD, depending on how long you break the distillates down for. 😏

🤯Matera the Mad🤯

@jk 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
There were some lovely old distros when I was young
l 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

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