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Ian Coldwater 📦💥's posts Post Back to profile
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@ian @SarraceniaWilds These and pervocracy’s piece on “missing stairs” were honestly so illuminating for me to understand why my communities were the way they were. pervocracy.blogspot.com/2012/0 (note: much of the rest of the site describes nsfw stuff) [edited because I called it broken stair not missing stair]

4 September at 2:32 | Wall-to-wall | Open on infosec.exchange
8 comments
NosirrahSec 🏴‍☠️
William Canna-bass

@rmd1023 @ian @SarraceniaWilds
This does more to explain our society than the 5 Social Falacies for me.

5 September at 9:55 | Open on kolektiva.social
William Canna-bass

@rmd1023 @ian @SarraceniaWilds Specifically referencing the Broken stair article. Looks like there are two different links.

5 September at 10:56 | Open on kolektiva.social
William Canna-bass

@rmd1023 @ian @SarraceniaWilds
Also, this sounds like a profoundly unsafe community, I would hesitate to even call them Kinksters. Consent is number one in our community, and I am frankly surprised that the author's community allowed this person.

Around these parts, you get black listed very quickly for any boundary violations, even online. We had a guy put his hand on a gal's shoulder in our group (w/o consent) to get her attention. Boom, disinvited from all future events, even the Munches. We also had a guy do some boundary violations on FetLife, so he was also banned.

Obviously, neither of these two people tried to correct their mistakes, so Restorative Justice was not possible. That being said, the fact that this person raped another is such an egregious boundary violation that there can be no opportunity for Restorative Justice, only Ostracization if not legal consequences IMO.

@rmd1023 @ian @SarraceniaWilds
Also, this sounds like a profoundly unsafe community, I would hesitate to even call them Kinksters. Consent is number one in our community, and I am frankly surprised that the author's community allowed this person.

Around these parts, you get black listed very quickly for any boundary violations, even online. We had a guy put his hand on a gal's shoulder in our group (w/o consent) to get her attention. Boom, disinvited from all future events, even the Munches. We also...

5 September at 11:09 | Open on kolektiva.social
William Canna-bass

@rmd1023 @ian @SarraceniaWilds
"Oh, but, like, she only said he raped her and no one was there to see it and it was really confusing and stuff and anyway what do you want us to do, like, treat the guy like a leper? "

This is an insult to Lepers, as leprosy can be cured. Absolutely, he should be banished to an island. Rape is a very deliberate act.

pervocracy.blogspot.com/2012/0

5 September at 11:27 | Open on kolektiva.social
William Canna-bass

@rmd1023 @ian @SarraceniaWilds
"When I posted about a rapist in a community I belonged to, although I gave almost no details about the guy except "he's a rapist," I immediately got several emails from other members of that community saying "oh, you must mean X." Everyone knew who he was! Tons of people, including several in the leadership, instantly knew who I meant."

#RedFlag alert - leave this community immediately!

pervocracy.blogspot.com/2012/0

@rmd1023 @ian @SarraceniaWilds
"When I posted about a rapist in a community I belonged to, although I gave almost no details about the guy except "he's a rapist," I immediately got several emails from other members of that community saying "oh, you must mean X." Everyone knew who he was! Tons of people, including several in the leadership, instantly knew who I meant."

5 September at 11:37 | Open on kolektiva.social
William Canna-bass

@rmd1023 @ian @SarraceniaWilds
I would argue that a missing stair is understating the problem. If you have a rapist in your community, this is the better analogy.
youtu.be/LNVFPkmZTQ4?si=Z3QY22

5 September at 12:01 | Open on kolektiva.social
William Canna-bass

@rmd1023 @ian @SarraceniaWilds

I would add to the suggestions that any play parties have designated dungeon monitors and that the Safe words should only be Green/Yellow/Red and that everyone at the party has a responsibility to stop a scene if the top/bottom calls Red.

pervocracy.blogspot.com/2012/0

5 September at 12:14 | Open on kolektiva.social
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