 1000 richest people are approched. "The end of the world is here. Time to go to your doomsday bunker", they are told. The billionaires nodded. They knew this was coming. They were prepared. So they gathered their loved ones and locked themselves in luxury bunkers. No contact to outside world. 10 years later they emerge. The world has healed. The air is breathable, people are happy. "What was the catastrophy?" they ask the first person they meet. She screams: "THEY GOT OUT!!!" 82 comments
    @prettyhuman I think the planning should have included my input. Muhaha.  @WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman Mars would also be safe, provided the landing craft are one way only.  @martinvermeer @WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman if we posit a world where they can't do the ~same things they're doing now remotely, that seems like a world where enough coordination can be also had to agree to ignore them.  @martinvermeer @WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman Forget about Mars, what about "Mars"? I'm referring to this story: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/51233/51233-h/51233-h.htm where they send people to "Venus". @TomSwirly @WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman I daresay it would be a better match for their business ethics. @WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman  @prettyhuman   @prettyhuman I wonder if someone could actually do this to them, like if they could actually convince them to go into their bunkers and stay there even though nothing is actually going to happen. @RyukoRazz yeah... Uhh... that was kinda the plot of this. :blobcateyes: I'm glad you at least sorta got it? :blobcat_owo:   @CanadianCrone @prettyhuman this is probably a lot more easier to accomplish than we think. They all live in little bubbles, tweak a few twitter algorithms here and there, fire some fake news at them, and they'll go and hide. Benefits of surrounding themselves with yes men, nobody will question their reality @prettyhuman The most unbelievable part of this is that the world could heal in 10 years. At best it would take centuries, at worst, it will never be inhabitable again by human life. @tri_becca90 @prettyhuman well, my thoughts were even more cynical: the second 1000 richest people take over the assets of the first 1000 people and the earth's trajectory towards doom scarcely falters. 🤔 @prettyhuman Go read N K Jemison's Emergency Skin! It's only on Amazon, unfortunately, but it's worth it.  @prettyhuman was plausible till "their loved ones" - there was the point it all turned into fantasy  @prettyhuman You got to go in afterwards and weld the vault doors shut.    @prettyhuman @julianfairfax pure genius, thanks! I’ll be working on a French translation if you don’t mind!    they were preparing for a digital future that had less to do with making the world a better place than it did with transcending the human condition altogether.  @prettyhuman How about instead we just pour reinforced concrete over their bunkers and stop up the air exchange systems with molten lead?   @prettyhuman @tagaziel @prettyhuman Emergency Skin by NK Jemisen mines this idea axe well. Quite beautifully. @prettyhuman [French translation] [1/2] Les 1000 personnes les plus riches sont averties. "La fin du monde est là. Il est temps d'aller dans vos bunkers apocalyptiques", leur dit-on. Les milliardaires acquiescent. Ils savaient que cela allait arriver. Ils étaient préparés. Alors ils rassemblent leurs proches et s'enferment dans leurs luxueux bunkers. Aucun contact avec l'extérieur. [2/2] 10 ans plus tard, ils sortent. Le monde était guéri. L'air est respirable, les gens sont heureux. "Quelle était la catastrophe ?" demandent-ils à la première personne qu'ils croisent. Elle crie : "ILS SONT SORTIS !!!" Histoire originale : https://mastodon.cloud/@prettyhuman@piipitin.fi/111646353570540433  @prettyhuman I think you all will want to give this a listen.  @prettyhuman serious neglect on the ones outside the bunkers to not lock the doors and seal the bunkers properly... smh.. @prettyhuman I like to think a lot of the exceptional (for Mastodon) engagement numbers on this post are from spelling bee pedants. (I kinda like “catastrophy” as it’s just a variant from a few hundred years ago)  Pretty much this, but with the 1000 richest people. https://hitchhikers.fandom.com/wiki/Golgafrinchan_Ark_Fleet_Ship_B   |
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@prettyhuman aaaah love it!