@baldur there are examples of projects that have made a concerted effort to solve these problems (KiCAD comes to mind, running user surveys and then acting on them rapidly) but they are a minority.
my personal view is that this is an endemic cultural issue that has plagued FOSS for decades, but I don't have the energy to get into this because it inevitably leads to tedious reactionary defensive responses.
@gsuberland @baldur Don't know that it's worth much, but if it helps: I agree on all of this, and it has been frustrating me for over a decade.
(And I've experienced the same active resistance to changing that culture, too...)