@esvrld the best ROI of any allergy

@esvrld Only thing more perfect would be the treecats from the Honorverse.

@esvrld and bites you when you try to get it to stop eating plastic. Or just because it loves you so much and violence is the language it knows best.

@esvrld The really great thing is that you don't even have to buy one. Just win over one that happens to live nearby. Free cat!

@esvrld So perfect the way they chew through expensive cables or attack rolls of toilet paper/paper towels. Servant of four cats speaking here.

@esvrld Also: smells good, will prune your houseplants for you, agility training by winding around your legs as you walk

@esvrld Well you never met my long ago cat Fast Eddie, pure white, absolutely psycho, only nice when hungry. 😅

@esvrld If only they were vegan. I don’t hold that against mine.

@esvrld intelligent design! God is good 😊

@esvrld Meanwhile, cats are writing the same things about us on their message boards.

@esvrld purrfect description!

@esvrld and I only have like 3 open wounds from him at any given time! A great deal if you ask me

@esvrld now if I could only find some way to monetize all this cat poop we would have utopia