Day one. Your systems have been hit by an ongoing DDoS attack involving over 2 million unique IP addresses. All your servers have been infected by a CryptoLocker. No computer that was connected to the internet in the last 24 hours can be trusted. The CEO is waiting for you at your desk when you arrive for your first day. Somebody brought in some coffee from 7/11. The ability for your team to get paid on payday means you need to restore accounting, but you'll need to get the public facing servers working first or the investors will bail and the company will be bankrupt.  

We'll teach you algorithms, codebases, and design patterns starting in week 9.