Who's that trouncing down the road?
With toots a plenty to unload
Who's that, ask the lookers on
That man is John Mastodon!

John, John Mastodon
Let everybody say
John, John Mastodon
Send yer boosts our way

Are ye tired, are ye bored?
Can you not 8 bucks afford?
Who will help you folks go on?
That man is John Mastodon

John, John Mastodon
All yer points are moot
John, John Mastodon
He knows how to toot!

#JohnMastodon