@aphyr I'm sure that some people have some incompatible expectations at times, but that's really nothing different from any interpersonal disagreements in any community - and I've absolutely been in IRL spaces that were culturally not far removed from what I see here on fedi.

I certainly don't see "actively bring in more of the culture that consistently and sometimes violently suppresses atypical identities" as the solution to that; if anything, I would expect it to make it *worse*, because it does not tolerate weirdness.

And it's very odd to me to call eye-contact CWs a "hyper-conservative" thing - it's the exact opposite, it's about being mindful of other people's comforts and not just your own. That is not what conservatism does.

If there's a disagreement over community rules, fine. Discuss it, figure it out, resolve the conflict into something that everybody involved can live with. But don't blame it on the weirdness. Baby, bathwater, etc.