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Cat Hicks

@modulux this reply doesn't bother me at all. It's really clear to me that you are expressing a desire to understand and connect and I appreciate it. Think of it like this: it hurts my feelings when some people criticize things I say, or dispute things I share, but then never follow up to say things like "oh, I am sorry I misunderstood that" or "I appreciate you explaining that", or "I read your bio and realized you actually do x not y".

9 November at 16:22 | Open on mastodon.social
4 comments
Cat Hicks

@modulux I absolutely think it's a mismatch about expectations on social media. I just think that I have a right to my own opinion about it :). My goal is not to be perfectly perceived but to be treated as a full human being rather than an object. Others' goals might be to get information with minimal effort on their part. I am claiming that has a social cost, when folks on this platform often act like it's free!

9 November at 16:23 | Open on mastodon.social
modulux

@grimalkina Mmm, I think I understand what you mean. Of course I agree different expectations are legitimate. For myself I'm used to IRC where, for good or bad, one tends to think of people as ephemeral lines of text. They join, they say stuff, they leave; maybe you meet them again, more likely not, and you definitely don't know who they are or what the rest of their life is like. So it's a very disembodied form of conversation where the text is almost supposed to speak for itself. Used to that, I don't mind randos to reply, build up, tear down or jump off from my posts. But if you start from a more social way of interacting this must seem very unpleasant. I do try to keep track of people's interaction styles, but it's not always easy. Thanks for the clarification, it makes sense to me now.

@grimalkina Mmm, I think I understand what you mean. Of course I agree different expectations are legitimate. For myself I'm used to IRC where, for good or bad, one tends to think of people as ephemeral lines of text. They join, they say stuff, they leave; maybe you meet them again, more likely not, and you definitely don't know who they are or what the rest of their life is like. So it's a very disembodied form of conversation where the text is almost supposed to speak for itself. Used to that,...

9 November at 16:30 | Open on node.isonomia.net
Cat Hicks

@modulux this is an interesting perspective! It sounds very lonely to me I must say. While I do think for me there is a large element of detachment (of course, I am aware I'm speaking in large part to strangers, and frequently ignore 'randos'), I find it mentally important to imagine the real people -- some of whom find me in real life at a work conference sometimes!! Or have weight on how my work is perceived with their words

9 November at 16:33 | Open on mastodon.social
kit

@grimalkina @modulux an ex of mine once explained to me that she found it really hard to think of anything (person or otherwise) on the other end of the keyboard as real. Given that I tend to assume that the dog nobody knows about on the internet is a genuine person, it was a significant clash of perspective. On the other hand it explained much of what I could see.

That all said treating the other as person is the only way we can bring about something better.

And I appreciate the call to do so.

9 November at 16:52 | Open on bsd.network
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